Today I thought I would talk about something a bit more serious and personal, depression. Depression is not just feeling sad; you don’t just get over it. The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance lists several statistics on Depression; “Major depressive disorder affects approximately 17.3 million American adults, or about 7.1% of the U.S. population age 18 and older, in a given year.”
Depression can be controlled with medications but there is no magic cure for it, even with medications, there will be good days and bad days. It’s something that you learn to live with and hopefully manage. I suffer from depression and it is compounded by anxiety, like I mentioned it’s not just about feeling sad, it’s any emotion that you have on steroids. You can go through an entire range of emotions within a very short span of time, especially the negative ones.
Anxiety is depression’s unwanted third appendage that beats down on you and takes the already jacked-up emotions and cranks them up even more. But now you have feelings of doubt and fear thrown in for good measure. Imagine you finally get to opportunity to meet someone you admire and you’re really excited about meeting them. Along comes anxiety and starts putting random thoughts in your head: what if he/she doesn’t like me, what if my deodorant fails, what if I accidentally pass gas right as I am meeting them, etc.
So now you become afraid and depression kicks in and grasps anxiety’s hand and starts frolicking around inside your head. Your body starts to react and you become sick to your stomach or you might decide that you are suddenly sleepy and need to take a nap. Or perhaps you might curl up in the fetal position and just stew over the tiniest of details, and this might last a few minutes, a few hours, days, or weeks.
That’s just a taste, here are a few memes that attempt to show what it’s like. Stress is a big trigger so managing stress is a must in trying to manage depression, but sometimes that isn’t enough, sometimes even the most seemingly benign situation can trigger an episode. It may sound crazy but even a bright sunny day with birds chirping their song can be a trigger.
Being a veteran that puts me at risk of becoming one of the 22, I called the crisis line not that long ago. These last two years have been a roller coaster for me and I had stopped taking all of my meds. A fact that my VA doctor was understandably irate about so I didn’t take it personally when his tone was less than professional.
But I am back on my meds and things are starting to improve, my blood pressure this morning was not in nuclear meltdown mode for the first time in a long while, and my blood sugar is dropping to normal levels. Just these little things have had a marked improvement in managing my depression.
Despite all I’ve been through, I consider myself blessed, I can only imagine what others are going through. Especially my fellow veterans that live with Post Traumatic Stress.
Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help. It is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength.
