Flat Earth Conspiracy Theorists Were Right All Along!
The scientific community is hopping made as the Flat Earth Conspiracy Theorists get the last laugh, it would seem that they were not the crazy tinfoil hat-wearing kooks everyone took them for. Youtube sensations and Flat Earth debunkers SciMan Dan and Creaky Blinder are flabbergasted. World-renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson refused to answer questions while rushing to JFK Airport for an emergency meeting at NASA Headquarters in Washington, D.C.
A Whistle Blower Steps Forward
A former NASA astronaut who goes by the pseudonym Samuel Shenton for security reasons, since coming forward he has received several death threats from scientific community members for blowing the lid of the ages-old coverup. Shenton tried to bring this news to other news outlets like CNN, MSNBC, and FOX NEWS but they all laughed at him. But after seeing a Disgruntled News Tweet on Twitter he decided to take one more chance to get the truth out and contact Disgruntled News and get the truth out.
The Proof
Initially, this reporter was skeptical, but since the policy of Disgruntled News is not to judge based upon first impressions I set up an in-person meeting with Mr. Shenton. At the meeting, Mr. Shenton produced classified documents and photos that proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Earth was indeed flat and not round as we had all been misled to believe. When asked how we could have been deceived for so long and when it all started, he told me that he didn’t know exactly. But that it had something to do with a Papal Bull by Pope Gregory I, a bull so secret that the Vatican dare not keep it on Vatican property.
Location of the Secret Bull
I pressed him for evidence of the Bull but he said that it wasn’t in his possession; however, he did have a clue as to how to find it. By this time he was getting agitated and was convinced we were being watched and got up to leave. But before he left he gave me a thumb drive with part of the evidence that he had already shown me on it, including the internal NASA memo. Mr. Shenton refused to tell me more but said he would contact me again when he knew more about the location of this mysterious Papal Bull.
At a Loss
Since the meeting with Mr. Shenton I am at a loss of what to do next, I spent most of my advertising budget that took me six months to save up just to go and meet him. Then there are these documents that I’m not even sure I should release, I mean, damn this is Earth-shattering stuff. My entire life, everything that I had been taught as scientific fact is all a lie. I’m not even sure I should be holding on to this thumb drive at least one of the documents is labeled Top Secret, I may need to consult a lawyer.